21 August 2014

How To Deal With Failure

How to deal with failure - Aspiring Londoner

Failure is a part of our life.  Sometimes the stake is big, sometimes small. Whatever is at stake, failure isn’t always easy to deal with.  I know there are some people in the world who can brush off failure like water off a duck’s back but the majority of us are not so resilient. 

Today I want to share with you guys some ways I deal with/overcome failure.

When I was younger, I came across a quote from Nelson Mandela - “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”  Wise words from a great man, who has possibly endured the largest of hardships in the modern world.  What’s my failure of not losing weight/not getting a job/failing an exam/not passing my driving test in comparison?!  I’m not saying you should compare yourself to others, but more gain perspective.  It’ll help you realise in the bigger picture of your life, this is perhaps not the worst thing that can happen.

I’m a hopeless perfectionist and it hasn’t always been helpful.  I have to consciously reign myself in and remind myself being a perfectionist isn’t everything.  If we never fail, we’d never improve.  We’d never persevere and never really know things that we’re passionate about.  Always take a moment and just think, would it really matter if everything wasn’t a 100% perfect?  I’d certainly worry less!

Always remember you’re not the first person who’s failed!  We all fail at some point or another, at something or another.  We all experience failure, put it down to experience, learn from it and move on.

I know this one is going to sound like a complete cliché, but overcoming failure builds a lot of courage and confidence.  Overcoming failure is overcoming the fear of failure and this give you the confidence of stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things.  Who knows, you may find something you love!  I’ve felt the crushing feeling of ‘failure’ but over time I’ve realised it built my confidence and the next time I was much stronger and resilient.

Going through experiences of failure has taught me that there are things in the world that I (or anyone) have no control over.  Accepting that has made me realise that sometimes things will happen, not necessarily because I’ve done something wrong, but because it was an external factor.  Feeling bad about such situations are completely pointless.  For instance, if you fail a driving test because another driver was reckless, it has nothing to do with your driving skills!  Blaming yourself for failing in such situations is detrimental to your progress.  Realise that and go forward.

I wanted to share this as I felt it’d be a good reminder for me.  Also, a message for those of you who are perhaps a little hard on yourself (like me!) – it’s okay!

Let me know how you deal with obstacles/failures – I’d love to have your input!  Comment below or tweet me @aspiring_london!

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